Just in case my mother is reading this, a ¨friend¨was asleep in a hotel room, two stories up in down town Santa Cruz, Bolivia.
Before going to bed she locked the door and considered locking the window, as one could easily jump from one room to the next but no one was in the adjacent room and she needed some where to dry her towel.
After a long days travel, ´Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance´ had served as the perfect sleeping pill and by 9pm my friend was sound asleep.
For some reason at about 1.30am this peaceful sleep was interrupted.
There sitting on the end of her bed was a man of about 30 years old.
¨What the FUCK. Are you doing in MY room?
No answer.
A quick consolidation of my (I mean my friends) travel goods; purse, passport,money, credit cards, camera...ipod?
" Where the fuck is my iPod?"
She had left it charging on the bed head and now missing, was: the cable, charger and iPod.
It could have been a good score if her iPod wasn´t five years old and the clumsy fool hadn´t woken her up.
The same clumsy fool was now trying to get back through the window, but she wasn´t letting go and he was really scared he would would fall two flights below. She didn´t care but noted the smell of alcohol on his breath while he pleaded to be let go.
In the adjacent room sat the accomplice.
The two must have arrived shortly after mid night. When they turned the lights on, the light would have shone through her blind-less window and onto the sleeping face of a single white female (a sleeping beauty, if you must), a charging iPod, an open window and an opportunity.
Fast forwarded to her waking up and screaming profanities.
Too drunk and too stupid to hide the iPod properly, the accomplice decided to hide it in his hands, and it could be seen easily.
Pointing she screamed at him, "Give me. My. FUCKING iPod NOW! You, you..yooooou CUNTS!"
The guy in her room was now extremely panicked, he hadn´t looked in her eyes the whole time until now. "Tranquilla, senorita por favour! Tranquilla" And motioned hastily for the iPod to be passed back through the window.
Satisfied, but wanting revenge, she said with some sarcastic tones, "No! No, "Tranquilla por favour" I´m calling Policia!"
Now that she had her iPod back, she allowed him to go back through the window, which she locked after him and ran to the door to scream for help.
Management had heard the noise and was there to greet the shaking girl at the door.
Armed with air freshener (aka mace), the manager and his daughter began banging and yelling at the door for the men to leave.
The men were now hiding behind the bed with the lights off. (She could see them through the window)
The idiots were trying the old "If they can´t see us they wont know we´re here!"
It hasn´t worked since I was about five and small enough to actually not be seen but this 30 something and 40 something year old men thought it might just work, it didn´t.
Eventually the thieves came out, the older one jeering at her in Spanish, something about not doing anything to her or not having anything of hers. It was greeted with a push out the door my the manager. Good riddance.
In the end there was no policia, when you don´t speak the language it´s too much trouble.
Her Chilean friends, who she had travelled with from Sucre, explained to the manager in Spanish what had actually happened in her room, before they arrived with their air freshener to save the day.
Everyone agreed that me friend was very brave, no, no a legend, a real modern day heroine, she had taken on the bad guys and won!
Please don´t try this at home, it scares her to think what if they were armed, but she also realises that she was very lucky indeed.
P.s Please no one tell my mum.. I mean her mum!
Introducing the Grazia Culottes
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